Massive List of Michael Caine Films, Part the First

Think of the first night as the dress rehearsal. If we can just get through the play once tonight - for doors and sardines. That's what it's all about, doors and sardines. Getting on, getting off. Getting the sardines on, getting the sardines off. That's farce. That's - that's the theatre. That's life.

Here's how I tend to pick movies (other than new releases) to see: I select an actor and then watch my way through his/her filmography until I'm out of either films or patience, and then pick a new actor and start over. It's a good way to make myself watch a lot of movies that I'd normally ignore.

Interestingly, the start of my two-week free Netflix trial started around the same time as my decision to watch every Michael Caine movie I could get my hands on (why? Because he's awesome, is why). Funny how that works. Anywhich, it is now the end of week one of my free trial, and I decided to treat you all to a brief review of each movie I've seen so far. You lucky bums, you:

I started with Get Carter, since Netflix allowed me to watch it instantly online. Honestly, this is absolutely not something I would have sat down to see otherwise -- there's a lot of sex, and the story is ... well, it's not slow, but it's not as fast-paced as, say, Taken. On the other hand, Get Carter is a revenge flick, so there's plenty of murder and oh-look-I've-framed-you-for-murder happening. While there wasn't a single "good" female character in the movie, Caine's character (Carter) is fun to watch. One of the reviews I read accused Carter of being amoral, but this isn't exactly true; Carter just has his own, special set of morals. Which involve a lot of shooting, punching, sex, and drugs. I give this one an A for storytelling and actually having a couple of plot twists I didn't see coming.

Next came Noises Off, which I watched with dad. Absolutely, without a doubt, the funniest movie I have ever seen. Mom kept looking up from the computer, because dad and I spent most of the film making strangled noises of joy. Those of you who know my abiding love for A Fish Called Wanda (previously the funniest movie I had ever watched) will understand me when I say that this is my new "comfort film" to watch when I'm having a cruddy time. The pacing and timing are just fantastic, and the cast is literally all-star, though it was bittersweet to see Christopher Reeve, Carol Burnett, and John Ritter on the screen. A+

The Fourth Protocol wasn't anything special. Really, I felt that only the performances by Caine and (an incredibly young-looking) Pierce Brosnan made the movie memorable at all, because in many places it otherwise felt like a run-of-the-mill spy/intrigue thriller. It was fun to watch, though, and the ending was much more satisfying than the end of Get Carter. B-

And then there was Quicksand. Forgive me, but if an actor is featured on the dvd cover, I expect him to a) show up before 30 minutes have passed and/or b) have more than 30 minutes of screen time. So, my first complaint was that Caine didn't actually show up for what felt like ages, which leads us to my second complaint: this one was really slow. It's definitely an action-y international intrigue movie, but the plot seemed to take a while to get exciting. Fortunately, the last third or so does pick up, and Caine does a great job as a washed-up old actor ("I am not past my prime!"). Unfortunately, I was so bored in the middle that I started checking my email. Also, it's never really explained how Michael Keaton makes the sudden transition from working in an office to stabbing bad guys in the neck with drug-filled syringes; it seemed like he knew more or less exactly what to do the moment the going got tough. I was going to give this one a C-, but then I remembered the scene where Keaton punches Caine in the face so hard that he (Caine) flips over a mattress. In his boxers. C

Without A Clue was much better. This slow-paced but enjoyable flim anwers the question, "what if Dr. Watson had been Ben Kingsley, who was actually the great detective, and had to hire a drunken, moronic Michael Caine to publicly play the part of Sherlock Holmes?" A question I have asked myself many times. While this was, as I mentioned, slow in places, it was funny throughout, and the two leads give believeable performances. The story is good, as well, and I'm just plain a Sherlock Holmes buff. Without A Clue gets an A- rather than an A only because they mucked around with Moriarty's character.

And, clearly, the Movie Fairies smiled upon me with The Wrong Box. After watching Without a Clue with the family, we left the tv on for a while as everyone went off to bed. The Turner Classic Movies channel was on, and I heard the host announce the cast of the movie before I could go off to sleep. You guessed it -- Michael Caine is one of the main characters. This movie is the oldest I've seen this week (1966), but I think it's aged well. The story, as with many older films, tends to take its own sweet time in unfolding, and in this case it's worth it. The Wrong Box is consistently funny and young Caine is, well, incredibly easy on the eyes. I particularly enjoyed the fact that everyone (and I mean everyone) in the movie is weird, with their own set of bizarre quirks -- like collecting rooms full of eggs or hoarding cats, as Peter Sellers' character does. There's a point near the end where the plot seems to unravel a bit, but overall this one was a strong A.

Mom's Birthday 2009

Mom's birthday dinner was quite the fun event. There were drinks
and gifts
and delicious pineapple upside-down cake.
Oh, and family, of course.
Dad spent most of the evening making dinner and hiding behind the flower arrangement,
while Alek and grandpa had a riveting discussion about photography.
Mom, of course was expected to sit around and have a good time while we brought her food and gifts.

Movie Quotes Meme: Answers! (part 2)

Posting just because I just realized I never finished posting the answers to my movie quotes meme game. From January, no less. Answers to the first five are here in part 1.

On to part 2:

6. Character A: Society can't exist without the family.
Character B: We're not against that.
Character A: Can two men reproduce?
Character B: No, but God knows we keep trying.

This is from Milk, of course, which I was fortunate enough to score midnight-showing passes for. Here's the trailer, which includes the quote I used:



7. I warn you gentlemen, I am not to be trifled with. To pull the tail of a lion is to open the mouth of trouble and reveal the teeth of revenge biting the tongue of deceit.

Start the Revolution Without Me, a movie replete with (over)extended metaphors. And Gene Wilder.




8. A little orphan girl once told me that the sun would come out tomorrow. Her adopted father was a powerful billionaire so I suppressed the urge to laugh in her face, but now, by gum, I think she may have been on to something!

The musical version of Reefer Madness. Clip with quote:




9. Character A: Aunt Lucy. I can see her now, lying on her dying bed, looking at you with those big, trusting eyes. 'Before I go, Jeff, promise me one thing,' she said. 'Promise me you'll always be a friend to little Orville,' she said. 'No matter what happens, you'll never leave the little jerk,' she said. 'Promise me, Jeff, promise me,' she said.
Character B: Yeah, then she up and died before I had the chance to say no.

Road to Morocco, one of my first favorite movies. Dad had tapes of all these old movies and I watched them constantly; at eight I think I had this song memorized:




10. Character A: Junior, I have tell you something.
Character B: Don't get sentimental now dad, save it until we get out of here.
Character A: The floor's on fire... see... AND the chair.

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. What more is there to add?



All righty; tune in later for the final installment!

Taken

No one, and I repeat no one wanted to see Taken with me. There was zero interest among my friends or family members when it came out. As a result, I waited until I could rent a copy and watched it all by my lonesome.

In retrospect, I wish I'd gone to see it in theatres. The film is good, but boy would it have been fantastic on the big screen!

As with Star Trek, Taken is just a great action movie -- it's fun to watch, the plot moves along quickly, and there aren't many pesky subplots. Also (as with Star Trek), the sex/nudity is kept to a bare minimum; I didn't expect this, considering that the film concerns the sex trade in Europe. What's that, folks? Proof that you don't need extended shots of half-naked women to produce an enjoyable piece of cinema? Well, color me surprised. Frankly, I'm glad to see a turn away from the obligatory stripper sequences that have appeared in so many films (Armageddon & Lost in Translation, et al.).

There's a review of Taken over here titled "Father of the Year," which I think is apt; the main character definitely does a lot of kickin' ass and takin' names to find his daughter. Liam Neeson is, well, totally hot in his black bad-guy-killing jacket, and that's something I never thought I'd type. Neeson has always been a good actor, but I can't really think of a time that he was given the role of action hero. His performance as "concerned dad" at the beginning (one of the few parts of the movie where he's not trying to kill someone) was touching, and that juxtaposed with his "vengeful angel of death" attitude later was interesting to watch.

Overall, Taken was a nice change from Seraphim Falls, which I felt just tried far too hard to be intellectual. Taken doesn't try to be deep or metaphorical or anything other than a straight shoot-em-up movie.

Star Trek

One of the first things I saw with my new glasses (see previous post) was the J.J. Abrams Star Trek movie. Literally: we checked the mail, and I opened the box containing my glasses on the way to the mall movie theatre. Not exactly ideal, considering that my prescription had changed quite a bit, but I'm glad I was at my peak sightedness for the movie.

It was great. Not only is Star Trek good in terms of "hey, this movie is well written and has good production values and a talented cast," it's good in terms of "this is a good Star Trek movie." There were a lot of nods to fans of the original series (spoiler: Sulu does some fencing) that had dad and I laughing in the nearly-empty theatre, but I'm sure anyone who hasn't been a longtime Trek fan would have enjoyed the film just as much.

The writing was very good. When I first heard that the plot was going to start before the original series and change things around, everything I read was discussing "alternate realities" this and "string theory" that and it all sounded complicated and uninteresting. Instead, the movie handled the whole time travel/alternate timeline issue capably and with a bare minimum of movie-physics or technobabble. It's barely a big deal, what with all the space fights and explosions.

Speaking of which: this is a great. action. movie. Everything's always in motion, but not to the point that I felt overwhelmed. Even better, from my point of view, was that there was little by way of sex/nudity/language. Lots of running and fighting and drama, however :-D

The cast? Also well-chosen. I'll admit that I had no hope whatsoever regarding the choice of Zachary Quinto for Young Spock (I didn't like him in what little I saw of Heroes), but by the end of the film I couldn't picture anyone else in the role. Also notable were Simon Pegg as Scotty, Anton Yelchin as Chekov, and Karl Urban as Bones. Urban in particular was spot-on as a young McCoy. Really, everyone was good, but if I just start listing actors this will look like an IMDB page.

(Also, I don't think I'll be spoiling the film for anyone if I mention that Leonard Nimoy is in it, right? And we all know I'm incapable of saying anything bad about him, even including that bizarre Ballad of Bilbo Baggins video. But he almost made me cry at one point, so good show.)

Overall, I loved the movie, as I'm sure you can tell :-)

New Glasses! (not a sponsored post)

I can see again! Trees have leaves, instead of just being giant green sponges; asphalt is made of tiny pebbles, instead of appearing as a flat gray surface!

I took a chance and ordered a pair of glasses from EyeBuyDirect. I was originally going to order from ZenniOptical, because their glasses are actually much cheaper; however, a quick internet search unearthed a ton of complaints online about Zenni's poor service and slow shipping times (slow boat from China, no less, so you know there's a good chance of things getting lost on the way).

My order was for a pair of their Rabbit frames in gold. I upgraded my lenses to "super thin" because otherwise my glasses are too heavy to actually sit on my face, and added anti-scratch, anti-reflective, and anti-UV coatings. The subtotal was $71.85 plus $4.95 shipping; an easily-located internet coupon got me $10 off, for a grand total of $66.02. Not bad considering my last pair was something like $250.

EyeBuyDirect's customer service was also very helpful: I had to email them over an issue when my payment wouldn't go through, and they gave me several options. The glasses took about two weeks to be prepared, and then I received an email letting me know that my order had shipped and should arrive in a few days. In fact, my glasses actually showed up that afternoon.

Included in the package were my glasses, a sturdy frosted plastic case, and a lens cleaning cloth. The only issue was that the left lens had actually popped clear out of the frames in transit, but that only took about 10 seconds to fix. Once reassembled, the frames were much sturdier than my old pair, and I really like the way they look. Here's the best photo I could get with my finicky webcam:

They're a bit crooked, but that's hardly the frames' fault: one of my ears is higher than the other. I think it ... adds ... character. Or something.

As a lapsed House fan

I thoroughly approve of this comic.

I kind of want to rent the latest two seasons of House at some point, to catch up.

Okay, I want to see House mess with Wilson and watch Meat Loaf not die for once. I can just fast-forward through all the other stuff, right?

Ah, comfort.

I think my cold has finally passed; today I just have the sniffles, and that's most likely due to allergies.

I'm lounging around in my new Ribbed Tees top, which is just as comfortable as promised. The neck is a little wider/lower than I usually like, but since I'll mostly be wearing it at home or under something else that's fine by me. The suggestion on the website to order a size down was absolutely correct: the medium fits perfectly, and I'm afraid the large would have been huge on me. Also, it sounds vain, but it's really very nice to be wearing a medium :-D.

Oh! And, I've been trying half the morning to post a widget in my sidebar, and it's not showing up quite right for me.



As you can see, it's a neat little ad for the Yanni Voices concert; I got the widget from the One2One network, but it's been giving me a headache. Can anyone see the widget in the sidebar, or just the one on this post? I love that it plays clips of the music (and I've been sitting here listening to it in another window as I try to make the darn thing work :-P)

Free Stuff!

The past few days, I've been lucky enough to win several giveaways. I figure, since these people are giving me free goodies, the least I can do is provide them with a little free positive PR :-D

1) An ISIS Peony Brief, from isisforwomen.com. The hosting blog was missionpossible1.blogspot.com. Looking forward to wearing these to the gym!

2) Two Ribbed Tees from ribbedtee.com. These look beautiful, and the hostess (http://www.mommymandy.com/) has a fun blog to visit, as well.

3) A beautiful pink scarf, made by the owner of this Etsy shop. The sponsor (5minutesforgoinggreen.com) is a reliable source for environmentally ideas and giveaways.

Ooh! Free Things!

Goodwill's having a financial fitness fair! (I hope there's cotton candy....)


WHAT: FREE Financial Fitness Fair 2009

WHERE: Goodwill Community Center
1015 Norwood Park Blvd, Austin, TX 78753

WHEN: 9am – 4pm


Services Offered:

• Complete a late tax file, first come first serve
  
  
• Free vision screening
  
  
• Free classes in English and Spanish
  
  
• Class topics: Banking, credit repair, identity theft and home buying
  
  
• Free legal advice
  
  
• Free resume consulting
  
  
• Apply for a bank or credit union accounts
  
  
• Review your credit report
  
  
• Resource table (medical care, food stamps, housing and employment)
  
  
• Information on furthering your education (college financing)
  
  
• Prize Drawings!
  

Goodwill Industries of Central Texas
1015 Norwood Park Blvd., Austin, TX 78753

Bus Route #325 and #329

For more information call 512-637-7100

Call in advance for any special accommodations

Presented by FFGA & Goodwill Industries of Central Texas

Spring Fashions!

I just got approved to become an affiliate for BeLove! They sell cool eco-friendly clothes created from soft fabrics ... but that's not the best part. The best part is that, as an affiliate, I make a little extra cash anytime someone orders through this button (or the one in my sidebar):






And the better part is that if you decide to order from BeLove, you can enter the code BeLoveSpecialSavings to get $10 off men's and women's shirts!

For the lulz

I'm a disk and a half from finishing MacGyver. My Pre-post-show blues are already starting to kick in; finishing a show that has such a long run is both exciting ("yay I are done!") and sad ("onoz I are out of MacGyvers!").

Fortunately, someone geekier than myself has been hard at work for a while, creating MacGyver (and Stargate) macros. I present to you: LOLMac.

And now I suppose I should get back to packing and school stuff. *sigh*

Fun With Scanners

I'm using the new scanner to clear out a ton of paper clutter. It's been great as far as organizing and uncluttering, but a painful exercise in not being a pack rat. For example, it was hard to toss the folder full of magazine clippings, even though they're now stored on my hard drive. Go figure.

Also? I'm holding on to my old TIP scrapbooks with tooth and nail. It'll be a while before I get them scanned in completely (man, those things are long); at that point, the test will be to see if I can get rid of the old copies. For some reason they've been living in my desk since I moved into the new apartment, and I never found a home for them.

Recycling them will be hard, but I'm loving going through the old photos. I found myself on this page tonight:

You can click it bigger. See me? Here, let me help:

Yep, I was rockin' the giant glasses look. I may go back to the huge round frames next time I update my prescription.

Ah, TIP. I no longer recognize many of the faces from the photos, but some of them bring back completely random memories. I do believe that the ham standing in front of me in that picture was named Eric, and that he had an unhealthy fascination with Koosh balls. In fact, I seem to remember something about a Koosh ball poem....

Things That Happen

I got offered an interview for a summer position with AISD! I have plenty of experience for the position, there's paid training (my CPR and First Aid expired not too long ago), and the pay seems good. I will update more once I've had the interview.

There are new things up over at my etsy shop! There are now matryoshka doll cards up in sets of 6 cards and sets of 4 cards. And while you're over there, the happy blue flower necklace and jump for joy pink necklace could use a little love, too.

We're well into season 5 of MacGyver. They're getting much more into the social/environmental issues this season (student protests in China, rhino poaching in Africa, etc.), which is alternately really interesting and horribly cheesy. Also, it's really weird to see things like super-young Cuba Gooding Jr. playing the part of a young bounty hunter ... and then showing up as a farm hand in the "old west dream sequence" two episodes later. I do love seeing Murdoc back again, though :-D.

Yanni Voices Update

Hey, guys!

Just a quick post to remind you that the Yanni Voices PBS Special --which I wrote about previously --is premiering tonight around 8:30pm. Or if, like me, you're going to be standing in line to try and see the Watchmen premier tonight, you can catch the special again next week on the 8th, at 10pm. The full schedule is up on the web.

If you missed my last post, you can see a clip introducing the Yanni Voices PBS Event on the main website. There's also a good PBS Special Teaser Video available, to give you a better idea of what the music sounds like.

This heads-up about a great music special brought to you by the lovely people over at the One2One Network.