Rejected!

I feel special. I'm not even an author or a journalist, but I already got my first rejection letter of the year!

I'd put in a bid on ifreelance - a college newspaper was looking for someone to write a parody social advice column. After submitting a sample, I was told to send them a month's worth, and then they would let me know if I had a job (and I would be paid for the month, of course).

Today I got a response. Apparently my work sounded "too much like a girl" and "not enough like a NYC taxi driver."

First, I was angered. Anyone who knows me will tell you I sound much more like a NYC taxi driver than a "girl" in real life (and, my mother would argue, this is not a good thing).

Then, I was hurt. For obvious reasons.

Then, I was angered again. Because the man who wrote the email had lied to me - yes indeed! What he clearly intended to write was "You have demonstrated that you possess decent spelling and grammar skills, clear sentence structure, and a sense of humor. This frightens us and we cannot allow you space in our publication. Please go away before we wet ourselves."

Clearly.

And now? Well, I'm getting paid and they're stuck with a crap column until they find another good writer. Color me amused.