Ivy's Birthday

Spring Break, 2008

Specifically, sometime on Tuesday.


Ivy's mom, little sister, and Jyan picked me up for a "schindig" (read "tea party") at Ivy's in San Marcos for her birthday.

The following are actual pictures of the event.

David, with uninvited guest in background.

Ivy setting up.

Ivy doing double duty as bouncer.

Voltron [correction, Wing Zero], acting as guard on the gift bags.

The spread.

The menu.

The (exhaustive) tea party rules. Pinkies are not, in fact, to be raised. Wooster would be heartbroken.

Party time!

"Oh, Ms. Niki, you do make the wittiest remarks!"

"One morning, I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajama's I'll never know."

Tea Central


"Tea! That's all I needed! Good cup of tea! Super-heated infusion of free-radicals and tannin, just the thing for healing the synapses."

Sam, drawing me a picture. Takes after her sister, she does.

No tea party is complete without a rat.

Shopping Spree

Spring Break is never complete without a Goodwill shopping spree, right?

Three tops, $5 each:

Some have a way with words

Is it bad that my profile quote still cracks me up every. single. time. I read it? Probably.

Clearly, I'm leaking brain cells. Today in my Spanish-American Literature class, it took me five minutes to remember the word for "something happening contrary to what is expected" in Spanish. You know, irony. *sigh*

Even better, we know the prof. is grading our little two-minute informal presentations (mine today was on an Incan origin myth), but we have no clue what the criteria are. Is it grammar? Is it content? Is it what we're wearing? We don't know, because she sits there with a scrap of paper taking unknown notes of some kind, and doesn't tell us anything. For all I know, I failed because I didn't use seven gerunds today, or something.

I go to get a new copy of my drivers' license tomorrow morning, to replace the one I lost to that shark.

With my new license, I can A) early vote, and B) legally drive myself to my new job.

What new job, you ask?

I am now "gainfully employed" as a "child care provider" at a "Baptist church." Which means I get "money" to watch "children."

It's actually a lot of fun.

Seen on/near Campus in the Last Week

• A short, older professor wearing the Mad Hatter hat.
• A group selling pink carnations for the Vagina Monologues (all I could think of were "vagina flowers").
• One student wearing a thick jacket, standing next to another wearing a tank top and shorts. Both were dressed appropriately for the weather.
• A guy stopping random passerby to hard-sell them magazine subscriptions. I really don't like these guys.
  

Longhorn for Heifer

Look at this, updating two days in a row!

I was going to hold off on this announcement until closer to my birthday (and you all have the date marked on your calendars, right? Right??), but I see a couple people have noticed already.

If you look to the right, just under the "About Me" section, there's a box that leads to my firstgiving page. For my 22nd, I'm trying to raise $220 for Heifer International -- you can read more about the way these online donations work over at my Longhorn for Heifer page.

So, sometime between now and the beginning of August, if you like, stop on by!

Parties, Magicians, and Free Money

The Imbolc party I attended Friday evening was lots of fun. Unfortunately, zoning restrictions meant that we were unable to sacrifice a fatted calf (or, in fact, have a fatted calf there at all). But, we did watch The Reduced Shakespeare Company -- they're completely hilarious, and I highly recommend watching them.

The day after Imbolc was my grandmother's 70th birthday luncheon. It was, if you'll believe it, actually more rowdy than the college party. 26 of her friends showed up, and we took over half of the Olive Garden for four hours; it was pretty fantastic! Between us my family took about 500 pictures, but I only have a few uploaded at the moment:


So, after all that Friday and Saturday, Sunday and today were rather quiet by comparison. Sarah came over last night to watch Secretary with me (great movie; not something I'd watch with the family), and tonight I watched The Illusionist (nothing particularly new with the plot, but the cinematography was nice and boy, can I watch Edward Norton for two hours).

And, finally, the free money part. I have sold out! From now on, I'll be doing sponsored review posts every now and then. Nothing obtrusive, hopefully, probably none too often, and you'll probably be able to tell they're sponsored. Bear with me, please: college students need to eat!

Rejected!

I feel special. I'm not even an author or a journalist, but I already got my first rejection letter of the year!

I'd put in a bid on ifreelance - a college newspaper was looking for someone to write a parody social advice column. After submitting a sample, I was told to send them a month's worth, and then they would let me know if I had a job (and I would be paid for the month, of course).

Today I got a response. Apparently my work sounded "too much like a girl" and "not enough like a NYC taxi driver."

First, I was angered. Anyone who knows me will tell you I sound much more like a NYC taxi driver than a "girl" in real life (and, my mother would argue, this is not a good thing).

Then, I was hurt. For obvious reasons.

Then, I was angered again. Because the man who wrote the email had lied to me - yes indeed! What he clearly intended to write was "You have demonstrated that you possess decent spelling and grammar skills, clear sentence structure, and a sense of humor. This frightens us and we cannot allow you space in our publication. Please go away before we wet ourselves."

Clearly.

And now? Well, I'm getting paid and they're stuck with a crap column until they find another good writer. Color me amused.

What are YOU doing Dec. 9th?

If you're in/near/around Austin, you should be at Films for Food. You know, supporting local actors, local filmmakers, and helping the needy. All at once:

FILMS FOR FOOD

"Jack Horner Mysteries -The Case of the Spoon" will premiere on Dec. 9, 2007 at the Alamo Drafthouse - South Lamar, Austin, Texas with 3 other short films. Two screenings are scheduled - 12:15PM and 1:30PM. Tickets ($10) are being presold and selling out.

Proceeds from the event and designated donations are going to benefit the Capital Area Food Bank.

2 short shorts, "Fowl Play" by Steve Warren, "Apostrophe" by Allegra McCoy, and another short feature "Soccer Mom" by Steve Cauley will be on the program with our favorite police detective, Jack Horner.

Preview for Jack Horner:

I've already bought my tickets :-)

Fall Party Picture Post

Subversive Children's Literature

Am I the only one getting a little sick of narrowminded adults going ballistic over children's literature?

First, it was attacking The Rainbow Fish for being Socialist propaganda. Because we all know small children will immediately make the leap from "sharing with your friends" to "party-run state."

Then, there were the people who decided to have a cow over Dumbledore's sexual orientation. Because we all know that knowing an character in a book is gay, even if it is never mentioned explicitly in the entire series, will make your child pine for their same-sex peers.

Now, there's the proposed boycott against The Golden Compass movie. Because the novel apparently promotes an atheist agenda and will make children want to kill God.

Seriously, folks? You're adults. do you really, honestly believe any of this? Do you give children any credit at all for being able to experience something without having it re-wire their brains?

You know what? I loved The Golden Compass as a kid. I read the entire series early in high school, and I surprisingly did not turn into an anti-theologue (if such a term exists). I also love Harry Potter! And am not magically gay after hearing about Dumbledore (although I did think it explained a few things)! Also? My parents read me The Rainbow Fish. And I vote Democrat!

I also managed to reread all of the Chronicles of Narnia a dozen times over without turning into a religious fundamentalist. (if The Last Battle isn't a treatise on intolerance, I don't know what is) Oh, and learn about Orson Scott Card's ideas on homosexuality without becoming a homophobe.

I also read the Redwall Chronicles without turning into a crazy PETA-supporting environmentalist, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn without running away from home, and The Wind in the Willows without becoming a car thief.

Will wonders never cease.

What I do at work all day

Spanish Linguistics v. Rhetoric

Spanish Linguistics:

Rule #1: Words are arbitrary sounds chosen to stand for occasionally ambiguous meanings.

Rhetoric:

See pages 817-827 of Locke's treatise on why words don't convey meaning perfectly (hint: because they're arbitrary sounds chosen to stand for occasionally ambiguous meanings).

Empirically, Lingusitics > Rhetoric in this case, because it took me much less time to take notes over the first reading.

The Pitfalls of Living Near Campus

Seriously.

One of the major pitfalls in living two blocks from campus is the sheer number of people that show up at your door asking for money (because, obviously, college students are renowned for their income level. Especially those living in the smaller apartment complex).

I just turned away what may have been a perfectly legitimate fundraiser for youth because in the year and a half I've been living here, the kind of people to come to my door have been:

• A "grassroots environmental activist" getting a small donation and my signature on a petition. This was months ago, and last week I get a call after work asking if I want to become a "permanent funder" or some such. I asked them to send me some information so I could make a decision; I get an invoice in the mail for $140.
• A pushy, rude, and argumentative man from the Austin-American Statesman wanting me to get daily delivery.
  
• A set of frat boys trying to sell magazine subscriptions who started their pitch with "hi! we're participating in a 'naturally cute and cuddly' contest, so we wanted your opinion on how we look!"
• Another set of frat boys, from a different fraternity, with a different stupid pitch and a bunch of magazines I don't want. No, I do not need a year's subscription to Maxim, thank you, and that doesn't mean I want a subscription to Country Home Living, either.

All this gets mixed in with the other fundraisers and fraternity members, not to mention the pushy magazine sellers that cornered my friend who used to live in apartment #1 one evening, or the guys that tricked me into buying a year's subscription to Parenting, of all things ("it goes to a women's shelter!" my foot). And the icing on the cake is the weekly door-hangers from food services (another pizza place? great!), cleaning services (for all 550 sq. feet of my apartment?), DVD releases (I got one for a movie two weeks after it hit DVD), the Watchtower magazines conveniently "forgotten" in the laundry room, etc.

Just, bleh. I love having my own place, but if there were a way to electrify my doorknob I'd be all over that.